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September 09

What Happens In Vegas

Okay so yes, this is still a parenting blog and no, I don't really think parenting and Vegas go hand in hand. Actually I recently returned from a trip to Las Vegas with my husband and a few friends, NOT my kids. No parenting was actually done in Vegas....or was it? What happened in Vegas? My husband and I spent some time together and laughed and ate and relaxed. I didn't make one single lunch and I didn't fix anyone's hair but my own. Not that I mind doing these things...I actually enjoy them but what I also enjoy is a break. What happened in Vegas?  We got really silly and we didn't make any plans and didn't have any schedules. We had a chance to talk. We  "banked" some good times together so we'll have that to draw on the next time our schedules are crazy, or the girls are arguing, or we are cranky.

Remember your mom saying, "you reap what you sow"? (Maybe your mom didn't but mine was the queen of "mom sayings"). What are you sowing in your family? Do you spend time caring for yourself and your marriage? Can your family survive if you don't? So many parents feel guilty about spending time on themselves or time with each other without the kids. How can you have a marriage if you don't spend any time taking care of it? What will happen to the marriage? The family? Are you showing your children a positive image of what marriage is?

When we returned Allie, my youngest, asked, "Did you and Daddy go off with your friends or did you stay connected?" I loved the question. That is what being a family is all about isn't it? The connections?

What Happens in Vegas? In this case, I hope it won't stay in Vegas.




9:52 AM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

August 01

Green Hour
The National Wildlife Federation has a wonderful website on the importance of getting kids unplugged and outdoors. They aim to have all children spend at least one "Green Hour" each day. Children who spend time outside, and we're talking unstructured outdoor play here not sports practice, are healthier than their indoor counterparts. Children who regularly spend unstructured time outside :

  • Play more creatively
  • Have lower stress levels
  • Have more active imaginations
  • Become fitter and leaner
  • Develop stronger immune systems
  • Experience fewer symptoms of ADD and ADHD
  • Have greater respect for themselves, for others, and for the environment



  • Visit the website greenhour.org for the parents guide, blog, activities, and more.


    6:00 AM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

    July 22

    Yes, Your Kid Really Will Eat That !
    When my girls were really young we went to a Chinese food restaurant that we had been to a few times previously. I noticed there were many asian families eating soup out of a hot pot. Being the soup - loving family that we are, I headed up to the counter to ask just what that soup happened to be. The hostess hemmed and hawed (correct spelling of that "word"?) and said I probably didn't want to order it NOR did I really want to know what it was. Yes, I do I assured her. We are adventurous eaters and I'm sure we might want to consider it...there were many young children slurping up the soup with gusto. Well it turns out the soup was blood and guts...she had a nicer description of it but that's what it boiled down to (quite literally I guess!). I slunk back to my table because after all we were certainly not going to order the soup. I remember the incident because looking around at the children in the restaurant, I realized that kids eat what they are exposed to. The asian children in the restaurant had no pre -concieved notion about this soup being gross. Although we didn't order the soup, the incident had an impact on me as a mother. I decided that if these kids could eat blood soup, my kids could eat what we ate- salads, spicy foods, vegetables, fish. If we didn't expect them to survive on chicken nuggets, they wouldn't learn to.
     
    What are your expectations for your kids? Do you enjoy food together or is it a battle? Do you sit down together as a family and enjoy family dinners or do the kids eat alone?
     
    Although I'm sure the Jessica Seinfeld book about secretly sneaking veggies into your kids' diet has its place, wouldn't it be a better life lesson to teach our kids to enjoy the taste and texture of foods?
     
    If you are in a food rut with your kids and want to break out, why not try a new approach?
     
     
    *Kids love to be involved in decisions. Let your kids help plan one dinner a week. Look in cookbooks together. Let the child make the grocery list.Cook the meal together.
     
    *Make a list of possible meal choices for the week. Allow your child to decide which night to have each dinner.
     
    *Try something new that nobody in the family has had. Always wanted to grill artichokes? Find a recipe and try it together.
     
    *Don't give in to the fear that your child will go hungry. Decide to make one meal and stick with your decision. Offer the dinner but don't get into a battle over eating it. If your child refuses, remain calm and say, "Okay well I guess you'll eat a good breakfast in the morning because I'm certain you'll be really hungry by then."

     

    Starting your child on the right path now will create life-long habits for a healthier future as statistics show that children who like a wide variety of foods are less likely to suffer from obesity. 
     

    Who knows, maybe we'll see you at the Chinese restaurant...eating blood soup:)

     

     
     
     
     
     
     


    9:53 AM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

    June 17

    Are You a Good Mom?
    My Daughter Erica turned 9 a few weeks ago. Along with the much -anticipated ear piercing that took place ( which by the way I promised AGES ago when she was 4 or 5 and although she never remembers her lunchbox, this promise has remained so etched in her brain that the countdown began about 365 days ago), she looked forward to providing her class with some much needed sugar to celebrate the big event. She had all kinds of ideas but finally settled on Oreo cupcakes, a recipe we found a few months ago in Food and Wine. Oh, and by the way, she wanted to make  60 of them to hand out to all of the teachers and neighborhood friends as well. I smiled (well gritted my teeth but it did look a little like a smile) and told her we could make a few extra, but 60 wasn't going to cut it. To tell you the truth, I don't really like to bake. I tell people it is because baking is a science and you can't really alter the recipes. I say that when cooking I like to have the freedom to throw in a little of this and a little of that. The real reason I don't like to bake is I like dough. Okay, I love dough. I love it so much that even if I promise myself I won't eat one single bite, I always find a loophole in my promise. I have been warned against the dangers of raw eggs and all I can think of is, "Oh goody, maybe if I actually DO get salmonella I'll finally learn my lesson. I'd better keep eating this dough so I learn it really well."
     
    Understand that Erica had been thinking about this sugary fun for about two weeks. She'd gone through a range of options from popsicles to that big mall cookie for 40. I could probably have convinced her to go back to one of her easier, store bought options. I didn't. I do have several reasons other than batter for saying ok to the cupcakes. I enjoy cooking with my girls and we have fun mixing, talking, and listening to music. There is also the part of me feels like a "good mom" for sending a homemade treat to school. I've really started thinking about that the past few days. Why would a few cupcakes make me feel like a good mom?  Would I be any less of a good mom if I sent fudgesicles? Would the kids in the class care? Do cupcakes have special powers to make us good moms?
     
    Something I know to be true for myself, and have found to be true for the moms I talk to, is we set our own "mom standards" that are impossible to achieve.  We measure ourselves against the other moms. We look at the other moms and think, "Why can't I do it like her?" If we handle one parenting issue poorly,  we forget about the other 50 we handled well that day. Why do we feel like we have to be perfect in order to be a good mom?
     
    How do we give ourselves a break? I figured out that for me it is perspective. I asked my girls what a good mom was and the list was interesting. Not once did they mention cupcakes or batter. Hmmm... Maybe cupcakes really don't have special powers. They said a good mom kisses you goodnight, rides bikes with you, reads to you, plays card games with you, lets you play outside, and comes to your kickball games. Allie also added that a good mom doesn't keep mean house cats ? (She's the creative one:) The list was longer but you get the idea. What they didn't say was just as important to me as what they did say. They didn't say a good mom had clean floors or perfectly folded laundry. They didn't say a good mom never made mistakes. They didn't say a good mom had a perfectly organized life. From their perspective, I am doing pretty well!
     
    I made a decision to keep their list handy. I think it will help me with that shift in perspective. We still made the cupcakes because we enjoy doing things together. I am a good mom. So are you. What is on your kids' list?


    4:06 PM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

    June 09

    Exercise and Drug Addiction
    This article was so intriguing, I am reprinting the entire thing....not even making you click a link to get it. Wait a minute..... did I just take some excercise away from you?:) Anyway, this goes right along with what we've been "talking" about...the benefits of outdoor play and movement. Please read:
     

    Can exercise help prevent addiction to drugs or alcohol?

    By LAURAN NEERGAARD – 2 hours ago

    WASHINGTON (AP) — Sure, exercise is good for your waistline, your heart, your bones — but might it also help prevent addiction to drugs or alcohol?

    There are some tantalizing clues that physical activity might spur changes in the brain to do just that. Now the government is beginning a push for hard research to prove it.

    This is not about getting average people to achieve the so-called runner's high, a feat of pretty intense athletics.

    Instead, the question is just how regular physical activity of varying intensity — dancing, bicycling, swimming, tae kwan do — might affect mood, academic performance, even the very reward systems in the brain that can get hijacked by substance abuse.

    What first caught the attention of National Institute on Drug Abuse chief Dr. Nora Volkow: A study found tweens and teens who reported exercising daily were half as likely to smoke as their sedentary counterparts, and 40 percent less likely to experiment with marijuana.

    Volkow knows — from her own 6-mile daily runs and from her scientific experiments — that the brain literally likes physical activity. Exercise seems to invigorate neurochemicals that sense and reinforce pleasure.

    "In children, it's innate," she notes. "Children want to move."

    But the nation's children are becoming more sedentary, as illustrated by the obesity epidemic, "screen time" replacing outdoor play and a drop in school P.E. And as youngsters approach adolescence, the run around the yard that used to be fun too often becomes a chore — the dreaded jog around the school track or the nagging to get off the couch. The sedentary teen turns into the sedentary adult.

    "Why do we lose the ability to experience pleasure from physical activity?" asks Volkow.

    Last week she brought more than 100 specialists in exercise and neurobiology to a two-day conference to explore physical activity's potential in fighting substance abuse, and announced $4 million in new research grants to help.

    Drug treatment programs often include exercise, partly to keep people distracted from their cravings, but there's been little formal research on the effects.

    The best evidence: Brown University took smokers to the gym three times a week and found adding the exercise to a smoking-cessation program doubled women's chances of successfully kicking the habit. The quitters who worked out got an extra benefit: They gained half as much weight as women who managed to quit without exercising, says lead researcher Dr. Bess Marcus.

    She now is working with the YMCA on a larger, NIDA-funded study to prove the benefit.

    Marcus cautions that people trying to kick an addiction have a powerful incentive to exercise. Could that possibly translate into prevention? Among the clues:

    _Rats were less likely to ingest amphetamines if their cages had running wheels, suggesting exercise stimulated a reward pathway in the brain to leave them less vulnerable to the drug's rush.

    _In people, exercise acts as a mild antidepressant and relieves stress. Depression, anxiety and stress increase risk of alcoholism, smoking or drug abuse.

    _Volkow is intrigued that attention deficit disorder and obesity both involve problems with the brain chemical dopamine, one system that drugs hijack to create addiction.

    _Baby monkeys who don't play enough in childhood have problems controlling aggression when they're older. The most aggressive tend to have defects involving the feel-good brain chemical serotonin — and binge-drink when researchers offer them alcohol.

    _Back to rats, physical activity increases production of growth factors and stem cells in key brain regions important for learning and mood; increases formation of blood vessels; and strengthens communication networks between brain cells.

    Together, that's far too little research to know if exercise really matters for substance abuse, scientists at the National Institutes of Health meeting cautioned.

    But, a few studies of school-age children suggest physical activity predicts better performance on math, verbal and other tests — and better school performance in turn is linked to lower risk for substance abuse.

    And getting sedentary seniors moving improves brain function — research aimed at preventing dementia, not drug abuse, although the improvement is in an area that in younger people is linked to risky decision-making.

    A caveat: If your own youth includes memories of parties with beer-guzzling athletes, well, the research concurs. A major study that tracks adolescent risk behaviors found that by 12th grade, exercise offers no protection against binge-drinking.

    "Now the kids who exercise the most actually drink the most," says Dr. Lloyd Johnston of the University of Michigan. It may have to do with the celebratory nature of team sports, or getting revved for college — or, other researchers suggested, even that competition is to blame.

    1:09 PM GMT  |  Read comments(0)