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June 23

Helping Your Child Become a Fluent Reader

 

 

 

How many of you have noticed your child becoming increasingly frustrated while struggling to read a passage to you?  Is this really helping your child learn how to read?

 

We all are anxious for our children to become fluent readers.  These days, the schools are especially concerned that students begin reading at a younger and younger age.  This can be overwhelmingly stressful and worrisome for both parents AND children who feel pressure to learn to read. 

 

I recently gave a friend the same advice I give everyone who asks my opinion about how to help their child who is struggling with learning how to read.   As a former first grade teacher I feel like I know a thing or two about this subject.  The truth is you don’t have to “teach” most kids how to read.  Rather than focus too heavily on the mechanics of reading, a parent can concentrate on fostering a love of reading and help their child truly enjoy it.  Instead of watching while your child struggles with reading and becomes discouraged, why not encourage her to really enjoy reading?

 

Remember this:  Reading is a developmental milestone that will be achieved only when your child’s mind is ready.  It is a true fact that children’s reading skills usually come together by third grade, no matter what we do to push them.

 

I feel sure that most of you reading this went to half-day kindergarten and played “house”, learned how to tie your shoes, painted pictures, and worked with clay.  I can’t speak for everyone but I feel for the most part we turned out to be completely functional adults.  Are today’s children any different?  Wouldn’t it be okay if we just accepted that they will learn to read when they are developmentally ready?

 

A good teacher friend of mine put it like this:  Reading is one of the most complicated things a person can learn how to do—recognizing letters, connecting them with different sounds, understanding phonics rules and which words don’t follow them, learning vocabulary—expecting our children to be able to do this at such a young age is a tall proposition.  She also says, wisely, that “we should teach beginning readers to focus more on the story than on the words”.

 

My advice for those of you who have young children struggling with reading:  Take it easy and don’t push!  It will come together for your child when he or she is ready developmentally.  Rather than sitting down for a formal reading lesson or listening while your child struggles to read to you, think about this:  How can you enjoy reading together?  Maybe your child would like going to a library story time.  Snuggling up with you and listening while you read a chapter from an adventure storybook could be something fun to do together.   Or how about listening to a children’s audio book from the public library?  More than likely you can come up with many good ideas similar to these.

All of these things will help your child learn to read by exposing him to important vocabulary, getting him to think about story lines, and helping him to develop critical thinking and comprehension skills.  Most importantly, however, your child will begin to see reading not as a chore, but as something enjoyable that he can look forward to.    

 

 

 



12:57 PM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

June 18

How Parents' Behavior Can Affect the Behavior of Their Children
Emotional reactivity: It is one of our biggest challenges as parents. How can we possibly remain calm when we feel so frustrated? Situations with our children may become stressful for us more quickly than we can imagine. Just the other day I felt in-control, organized, ready to face any challenge that came my way—and then my kids entered the house. Fresh off the bus from school and already arguing loudly with each other, clamoring noisily for my attention, leaving backpacks, lunchboxes, and papers in unusual places, and generally causing madness and mayhem that had been absent from my house only moments beforehand. I could immediately feel my heart rate rising. Couldn’t things just remain quiet, calm, and organized, even with three kids in the house? Did it always have to be like this?
 
The way you handle situations like this can set the tone for the rest of your day. There are many ways parents might react in this type of setting. Let’s consider several different scenarios with different types of parental reactivity.
 
Scenario A: I immediately find it difficult to control my frustration with the noise level and the new, scattered mess. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t seem to stop my anger and irritation from boiling over. I explode, suddenly and without warning. “Why is this house such a mess?” I shout. “I worked so hard to get it clean and now look at it. Why can’t you girls ever pick up after yourselves? Now get busy and you MAY NOT go outside or do ANYTHING FUN until this is cleaned up!” Off I storm, and as I retreat I can hear the arguing and mayhem continue, “You made this mess, No you did, It’s not mine, I don’t have to clean up after you”…As I close myself in my room to calm down I feel a sense of defeat. I must’ve done something wrong as a mother. My children are out of control. My house is out of control. My life is out of control.
 
Scenario B: I realize that for my own sanity I just can’t deal with having the kids in the house. I send them directly outside, mop the sweat off my brow, and commence picking up and organizing their things. I grow more and more resentful as I spend my time cleaning up their mess. After the house is all put back together, quiet and organized, they head back inside. They begin arguing, leaving their things all over the place, whining and tattling…you get the picture.
 
Scenario C: I take a deep breath and remember that children are not adults. I remind myself that it is my job to teach independence: not to try and control them, but to teach them to control themselves. How can I do this? For starters I use a voice that is calm and free of anger or irritation. “When you have put everything away feel free to join me for a snack at the kitchen table”. Then I go and sit down and wait for them in an unhurried manner. There is still some noisiness and arguing (they are just kids, after all), but they are anxious to sit down and have a snack so they spend some time putting their things away. A few gentle reminders from me about the proper places to put things and what I still see out, and then, one-by-one, they plop down and we begin a delightful conversation about the school day. We enjoy each others’ company for a little while, then they go outside to play and I’m left inside to begin thinking about dinner while I enjoy my neat and organized house.
 
Do you recognize your own reactions in any of these? What do you do that helps you to stay non-reactive? It’s a well-known fact that as parents, we are our childrens’ best teachers. They look to us for direction and copy the behaviors that they see us use. Remember the old adage “Do as I do, not as I say”? By modeling unruffled, composed behavior for them we are teaching them a valuable lesson: that this type of behavior is not only the norm, it is what is expected. Just think of all the ways this will benefit them during their lives. Someday, it may even help them to be better parents themselves. 
 


5:21 AM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

May 29

The Benefits of Outdoor Play for Children

 

Have you ever noticed the difference in your children’s behavior when they are outdoors rather than cooped up inside?  My childhood memories are filled with games of hide-and-seek, flashlight tag, making firefly lamps, building clubhouses, exploring the “woods” (vacant lot) near our house, and making things from the “clay” we found in the backyard.   My mother and her brother tell stories of leaving their house every morning in the summer and not returning home until dusk.  Their days included craw fishing in a nearby ditch, wading in Dry Creek, and building hideouts in the tall prairie grasses.  Do our children today have entire days to explore nature and enjoy the freedoms of the outdoors?  Is unstructured outdoor play becoming a relic of the past?  Evidence is mounting that points to the fact that children are spending more and more time indoors, disconnected from nature due to the pull of the TV, internet, or video games.  Most outdoor activities are those which are structured and under the careful supervision of adults.

 

Outdoor Play Has a Calming Effect

In my own children I notice a marked difference in their personalities when they are able to enjoy the pleasures of outdoor play.  I have always believed that children should spend as much time outside as possible, hearkening back to my teaching days when I was often the only teacher who took her students to the playground on a cold and misty day.  I never had a complaint about the kids’ behavior inside as long as they had plenty of time outside.  When things seemed to be getting crazy it was always a sign that they needed to get OUT!  I have noticed that it works exactly the same with my own three kids.  Studies have indicated that exposure to green space and nature has an especially calming affect on children with ADHD.  Even adults benefit from time in nature, which has been shown to help with relaxation, stress reduction, and mental restoration.

 

Outdoor Play is Fun

This past summer at my daughter’s birthday sleepover I had 12 girls ranging from six to eleven years old spending the night. My husband just happened to be out of town.  I was a little concerned about doing this all by myself, so one of my good friends stayed for a couple of hours to help me out.  Then she got to leave her kids with me and go out for a nice, quiet dinner with her husband.  I was on my own. It was (understandably) wild and crazy inside my house.  Cake crumbs and ice cream drippings covered the floor.   I knew the best thing for everyone involved would be for all 12 kids to go in the backyard so I could have a moment to clean up the sticky mess.

 

For a full 15 minutes one or another of them kept knocking on the door.  “When can we come in?”, “I’m tired”, “I’m bored out here”.  They didn’t seem too sure about the idea of being outside in the heat.  Finally the kitchen was cleaned up and I was ready for the re-entry to occur.  But wait--what was going on out there?  I stealthily opened a shade and peeked outside.  They had a frog and some paper birthday plates and bowls, sticks and leaves.  Come to find out they were building a frog mansion.  The mansion became more and more elaborate over the next several hours and the frogs multiplied.  There needed to be lots of rooms, you see.  And a swimming pool complete with a diving board…

 

Meanwhile I kicked back and read a magazine in my nice clean house.  Around 10 p.m. I forced them to come in because I was scared the neighbors would wonder.  The frog mansion project ended up being the most talked-about event of the party. 

 

Exposure to Nature is Crucial to Human Development

There is a growing amount of research that shows the importance of time in nature to human growth and development.  Extensive evidence indicates that direct exposure to nature is essential for physical and emotional health.  When children do not have the experience of being outside, they are missing out on an important part of childhood.  In his book Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder, Richard Louv explains, “Nature-deficit disorder describes the human costs of alienation from nature, among them:  diminished use of the senses, attention difficulties, and higher rates of physical and emotional illnesses”.  We should not think of outdoor play as simply leisure time, but as something that is as necessary to our children’s development as a balanced diet or a good night’s sleep.     

 

Time in nature helps:

  • develop motor skills
  • improve memory
  • foster creativity
  • keep obesity in check
  • improve attentiveness
  • decrease restlessness
  • reduce stress

 

What Can You Do?

This summer, make an effort to limit time indoors and increase time outdoors.  Find ways to expose your children to nature and green spaces.  This can be difficult to do in extreme heat, but sometimes just a hose and a few water balloons, buckets of water, and bubbles will suffice.  I’ve even found a Slip-n-Slide to be invaluable.  A rock garden, vegetable garden, or animal habitat could be a wonderful addition to your backyard.  Last summer we went for nature hikes and biked on the greenbelt in the cooler parts of the day, stopping to see interesting things along the way.

 

Resources

An incredible amount of self-directed learning can take place for your children when they are allowed the freedom to explore the great outdoors.  For lots of great ideas for fun activities your kids can do outside, click on “Summer Fun” on our website.

 

Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder, by Richard Louv, is an excellent book that pulls together all the research on the necessity of outdoor play for children.

 

Read more about helping to improve the mental and physical well-being of your child: 

http://www.usaweekend.com/07_issues/071118/071118healthy-kids-report.html 

 

 

8:15 PM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

May 28

Summer Reading for Ages 8-12

 
My daughter Lila is a voracious reader, exactly as I was when I was about her age.  I remember loving series of books as much as she does.  For Lila, the more adventure, intrigue, and mystery involved in the books the better.  She finished reading the final installment of the Harry Potter books last night and is unsure of what to do with her life from here on out.  It took her four weeks to read the entire series.  She devoured each book ravenously, at the expense of playing outside, talking to her family--living a normal life, really.  She actually cried when we told her she couldn't read at the dinner table.
 
Now Lila seems to be wandering around the house like a poor lost soul.  I really want to help her, and the only thing I can think of doing is rushing to the library or book store for another series she will enjoy.  I did a lot of research and made a list of adventure/fantasy series for 8 to 12-year-olds so I'd know where to start.  I also included some that Lila has already read and loved.
 

Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome (this is the first book in the series)

From Amazon.com: 

Swallows and Amazons is about six children who sail, camp, and find timeless adventure during a holiday in England's Lake District.

http://www.amazon.com/Swallows-Amazons-Godine-Storyteller-Ransome/dp/087923573X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211895999&sr=1-1

 

The Spiderwick Chronicles by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi

From New York Times Book Review:

With their evocative gothic-style pencil drawings and color illustrations, rhyming riddles, supernatural lore, and well-drawn characters, these books read like old-fashioned ripping yarns.

http://www.amazon.com/Spiderwick-Chronicles-Boxed-Set-Lucindas/dp/0689040342/ref=cm_lmf_tit_6

 

A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket

From Publishers Weekly:
”If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book." So cautions Snicket, the exceedingly well-mannered narrator of these two witty mock-gothic novels featuring the misadventures of 14-year-old Violet, 12-year-old Klaus and infant Sunny Baudelaire.

http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Beginning-Unfortunate-Events-Book/dp/0064407667/ref=cm_lmf_tit_10

 

The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner

Lila enjoyed these books in second and third grades.  The first book is the best!   It is a great idea to read it before proceeding on with the series. 

From Amazon.com: 

Four young orphans run away from a grandfather they have never even met. They make their home in an abandoned boxcar and are able to rely on only themselves.

http://www.amazon.com/Boxcar-Children-Gertrude-Chandler-Warner/dp/0807508519/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211894414&sr=1-2

 

Books by Peg Kehret

Peg Kehret has written many adventure books for readers in grades 3-6.  One that Lila absolutely loved was The Secret Journey, description below.

From School Library Journal:  A story set in England in the 1830's.  Faced with the prospect of being left with relatives whom she cannot stand while her father takes her ailing mother to France, almost 12-year-old Emma disguises herself as a boy and decides to stow away on her parents' ship. 

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Peg+Kehret&x=14&y=11

 

The Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis 

From Amazon.com:
The Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis, is one of the very few sets of books that should be read three times: in childhood, early adulthood, and late in life. In brief, four children travel repeatedly to a world in which they are far more than mere children and everything is far more than it seems.

http://www.amazon.com/Chronicles-Narnia-Boxed-Set/dp/0064471195/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211897620&sr=1-2

 

The Land of Elyon trilogy

The Dark Hills Divide:  Land of Elyon, Book 1

From Amazon.com:

Told from the perspective of its smart, brave, and adventurous heroine, The Dark Hills Divide invites readers on a spectacular and mysterious quest that will appeal to boys, girls, and fans of both fiction and fantasy. Patrick Carman is a natural storyteller, and his delightful debut is full of mysterious plots, hidden passageways, and all manner of dastardly, hilarious, and noble characters.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/product-description/0439700930/ref=dp_proddesc_0?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books

 

The Black Stallion Adventure Set by Walter Farley

From Amazon.com:

Walter Farley's tales of bravery, instrinct, and survival have been captivating readers for almost 65 years.

http://www.amazon.com/Black-Stallion-Adventure-Walter-Farley/dp/0375834060/ref=sr_1_16?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211986749&sr=1-16

 

Riverboat Adventures by Lois Walfrid Johnson

Set in 1857, these fast-paced novels show a never-give-up family; the mysteries of the Underground Railroad, the rush of immigrants to new land along the Mississippi, and a fresh perspective on the freedoms sought in the Declaration of Independence.  Strong characters keep both boy and girl readers asking for more.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Riverboat+adventures&x=10&y=19

 

Inkheart and Inkspell by Cornelia Funke  (highly recommended by Lila's friend Melissa)

From AudoFile:

Consider the premise that characters can jump from stories into real life and vice versa. Add to this fluidity the notion that the author can create an alternative ending to be read into the story.  Marvel as 12-year-old Meggie and her bookbinder father grapple with wily villains, unsettling accomplices, and "drop-in" characters, as they seek to achieve stability in their world and family.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/product-description/0439709105/ref=dp_proddesc_0?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 


7:23 AM GMT  |  Read comments(2)

May 21

Parent Coaching Associates, LLC is in the News!
 
Read about us in last weekend's edition of the Round Rock Leader:
 


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